My immortal commentary
by Narutofanfictionlover
Summary: This is a story by Tara Gilisbi. IT is known as My Immortal and is one of the worst fanfiction in history.Lets prepare for a world of laughs!Rated M for terrible sex scenes and grammer!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my own commentary about My Immortal aka:Worst fanfiction ever,by Tara Gilisbi  
**

**R&R**

**22222222222222222222222222**

**Chapter 1**

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)**( You even spelled Gothic wrong)**2 my gf (ew not in that way) **( No one said anything about that)** raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling**(Did you or your friend even go to school**?). U rok! Justin **( Um...)**ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX **( Ah, My Chemical Romance , I hate to say this but I agree)**Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way**( Poor girl, her parents must have hated her)** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)**(No Duh!)**with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears**( What is up with the limped tears)** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee**( I am loosing brain cells over this) **(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie **( Incest Alert)**. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white **( What the hell happened to vampires?)**. I have pale white skin**( Which is the only normal thing)**I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **( Did you even read the books ?) **where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)**( Oh yes like we needed to know!)**.I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)** (I wonder what gave it away)**and I wear mostly black**( I am starting to think you're a prep).** I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink **( Pink seriously!)**fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation**( I think you're pale enough)**black eyeliner and red eye shadow.I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **( SLEET ) **so there was no sun, which I was very happy about**( Do you sparkle also?)** A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.**(Rude !****)**Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. **( Frankinstein!)** Draco Malfoy!"What's up Draco?" I asked."Nothing." he said shyly.**( Shy and Draco! What is wrong with the world!)**But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.**( You don't deserve Draco you bitch that can't write**)

AN: IS it good**(Hm... NO!)!**PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello once again my faithful reviewers!**

**R&R**

**22222222222222222222222222222**

: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta **(Bloodytearz666 apparently dosen't know how to spell)**! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!**( Hey, at least some people can spell)**The next day I woke up in my bedroom**( Where else would you wake up!)**.It was snowing and raining again.**(A three-year old can tell it is called sleet)**I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had **(Disturbing!)**. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends**( And you said you were Gothic)** .I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for , I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.**(Do I care,no,no I don't)**My friend, Willow(AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes**.(How can shw wake up and grin then open her eyes? It is very confusing) **She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly **( I am getting a feeling she is a prep)**."Yeah? So?" I said, blushing**( I didn't know vampires can blush )**."Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall."No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.**( two words...Anger Mangement**)"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(Are you sure you don't like him**?)"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **( Correct me if am wrong, but I am pretty sure Good Charlotte was not around back then)**Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed.I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR."Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.**( The End I just died laughing!)**

I gasped**.( I did to ,at the fact he asked you)**

**Well another chapter of my commentry .R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome my favorite veiwers**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!**( How can people not flame your story)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws**( What good reviews?)**!FANGS AGEN RAVEN!**(Yeah Thanks for helping her put this monstosity on here!Please note the sarcasm)** oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis**( I feel bad for the person that may or may not have let you write his or her story)**or da lyrics 4 Good the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels**( if you spent as much time on your grammer than your clothes,you would not get as much flames!)**Underneath them were ripped red I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front**( Its called lace)**.I put on matching fishnet on my arms.**( Is all this really necessary)** I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky**( How is that possible with long hair)**.I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.**(Where the fucking hell did that come from?) **I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC **( Vampires can't bleed). **I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner.**( DO we need to hear about her make-up.**Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway.**( That explains the last two times you put on WHITE foundation).**I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert **( Um... alrighty then)**I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car **( Seriously, Have you read the books at all?).**He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants**,( Um.. Why would Draco wear what he would consider MUGGLE clothing?)** black nail polish and a little eyeliner.(AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!)**( Not any guy I know)**."Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice."Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) **( Thats not a license plate number)**and flew to the place with the the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **( Wow! That is so cool...not)**When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

She sets you free into this life." sang Joel

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.**( Why?)**

Suddenly Draco looked sad.**( Emo Queen)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.**( Finally)**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.**( I can't read this it is to..to, there is just know words describe this)**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedlsy, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled **( I was pretty sure they could walk, if I am not mistaken)**back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!**( ****DUM ****DUM ****DUM sorry couldn't help myself!)**


End file.
